i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
