I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
