You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
