he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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