how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
