just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
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