He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
