I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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