Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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