Already got asked if we're dating
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
