I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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