Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
