The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Randomize
