dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
