1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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