Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
