Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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