so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
