you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
