just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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