Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
