Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
