just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
