do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
