it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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