hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
drinking out of a sandbucket again
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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