I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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