haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
