do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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