For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i think i scared a bird with my dick
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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