1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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