You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
