this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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