Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
