Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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