So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
