I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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