so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I have aggressive nipples.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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