all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
