I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Randomize
