he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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