You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
wanna go halves on a baby?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
