if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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