And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
