I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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