i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
