You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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