when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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