I bet he comes in French.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
