trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
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